xx__nowherefast's Xanga

It all falls apart, and it won't take long...

Mon, 11 May 2009 07:45:25 GMT

No update in months. Nothing to really update on.

I'm almost done being a junior. I'll be a senior soon, I hope.

Things aren't really working out. They're definitely happening, but they're not working out. I wish with all my heart that they work out, but they never do. And so it goes, the story of my life.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 05:36:19 GMT

Things to do, things to avoid.
Choose one, abandon the other.
Soul-searching, being alone.
Pish posh, applesauce.

I need AP books. APUSH, Physics, and Calc AB.
I need to get a ribbon for my mom's old typewriter that I found.
I need to e-mail some people.
I need to do things.
I need to do.
I need.
I don't need.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 03:36:27 GMT

I admit that Tumblr is taking over my life.

There's nothing notable for me to write about.
I save it for my journal.
And then wait too long and forget it altogether.
Fuck.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:37:10 GMT

Oh, Xanga... how I have neglected you.

I've been writing a lot more in my journal. It feels much more accomplishing and relaxing to feel the pen against the paper. I can draw little doodles and scratch out stuff. Blogging just isn't the same. Journaling is much more private.

I also got a Tumblr account. There's some stuff there, but it's not much. Mostly just stuff I see that I really like. Not much else. I could spend hours on there.

-----------

So I know this person. Let's call this person Sam (androgynous name ftw). Sam's been hanging out with one of their close friends for a few weekends in a row, and Sam really feels sort of... suffocated? Sam's friend is constantly asking about when they'll hang out. I mean, sure, they have a lot of fun; Sam's not complaining. It's just that Sam feels their friend should really just give it a rest and chill for a while.

My stance on this? Yeah, Sam should definitely be feeling suffocated, especially if the time that being spent together is reluctant on either part. In my honest opinion, Sam's friend seems a bit demanding for always wanting to hang out with Sam. This clingy phase that Sam's friend is going through (I guess that's what it is) makes Sam feel a little repulsed. If I were Sam's friend, I would probably pick up on that, but Sam's friend isn't me.

Spend some time apart. It makes the heart grow fonder... that's how it goes, right? Anyway, with some time apart, I think that Sam and Sam's friend will be fine. But that might not be the case. I'm neither completely informed on the situation nor aquainted with this person who is portrayed as Sam's friend. I am probably wrong about this situation, but hey, it's something to talk about.

I hope Sam doesn't mind me talking about this here!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 01:35:05 GMT

Who from Ontario keeps on checking my Xanga via Facebook Mobile?

Come forward. Don't be afraid. I just want to know who you are.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 06:43:33 GMT

5 years of Xanga in March.

linkinmaximum11
YunaJem11
jenn_loves_MCR11
burninglightss
jennz_storiez (?)
xx__nowherefast
term3__stretch (?)

I can't remember all of them, but looking back at how I used to be, I was a damn depressed little girl. A fucked up one. Really.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 02:40:56 GMT

I swear I haven't forgotten.

I'm just too lazy to post.

022

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 03:24:15 GMT

I look at the archive of the pictures I take on my webcam and get scared.
Haha, I'm such a weirdo.

I guess this is another one of me that shows that blank face I have on whilst browsing the world wide interwebs.

021

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 03:06:05 GMT

It's starting to rain again. I used to love the rain, but I realize that I really don't anymore. Despite its beauty, the limitations are something that are hard for me to ignore.

Lah, lah, lah. This term really doesn't feel the same as Term 1. I want to go and crawl in a hole, that's what I feel like doing. Just sit in the hole and watch whatever's happening.

My head hurts.

020

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 01:37:08 GMT

I enjoy soy milk. This time around, it came out pretty sweet.

Zero period Calculus brought me a group quiz which I was totally unprepared for. Went to Band and found that Mackey had put on the CBS Live Broadcast of the inauguration. Biden was inaugurated. Obama was inaugurated. Photo came around and my heart sank because the group wasn't together. Instead of Nahira, we have Lana. She's nice, but I miss Nahira. That morning's Advisory was pretty misleading because she told me that she was excited to see me every day again. She didn't even speak to me once during the period. Josh, Steven, and I went to mess around with a Holga because no one else felt like doing anything. Also because I feel nervous in crowded classrooms full of unfamiliar people. Shot the last few frames of what was left of the Arista film, and went back inside. Loaned Steven $2.75 for lunch. Ate lunch in Mr. Pi's room. Gave Chris W some food that he probably needed because he forgot to get/bring a lunch today. Talked to Kim & Tiff, talked to Josh (Commie) & Holly & Steven & Tom (I'm pretty sure it was them, but I can't be sure), talked to Chris. Somewhere between talking [I went to the counselor's office to see what was up with there being no T.A. slot for my 4th period class. On my way out of the classroom to go there, saw Jack and exchanged an awkward wave. It's getting somewhere. When I got back to the classroom, I did some stuff that I don't remember the chronological order of.] I walked Chris to his 4/5 block class and then walked back to Advanced Math Lab. Ended up talking a lot (really loudly!) before, during, and after entering standards quiz points onto a sheet of paper. Blah blah blah, talking talking talking. 6th period was boring, not even worth mentioning except I saw Ricky on my way to the bathroom. Watching the inauguration parade was quite the bore. Texted Lisa, texted Kelsey for a ride home. Got a ride home from Kelsey and relaxed. Sorta forgot that I was skipping Chess Club, but fuck it, I just don't want to go to Chess Club today. Tried to get something done, but ended up just watching the one House episode that I missed. Talked to Michael a whole lot about social habits and whatnot (I don't know how to explain it), and ended up here, on the couch after having eaten dinner.

Note to self:
* Remember that a game of truth or dare over the phone can get out of hand quite quickly.
* Remember to try and go back to Goodwill to see if that camera is still there. Buy and try to get fixed for Photo and self-use. Try, try, try.
* Congratulate Amy and Lisa on conditional acceptance into RYE!
* Switch bags to carry a backpack again.
* Try and fit basket onto new(er) bike.
* Play more catch. Arms are now sore from playing catch with Regina yesterday.